


May The Light Inside You (Burn Everything You Touch)

by Mr_Flamingo



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I cried a lil while writing this ngl, Mild Gore, Pre-Canon, Sort Of, ghost character, hot take: Ben died protecting Luther, obviously i must hurt the characters i love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:43:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26112835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Flamingo/pseuds/Mr_Flamingo
Summary: In hindsight, it was obvious.He’d never been good at noticing the things he should.Ben comes to Klaus after a mission gone wrong. There's nothing abnormal about that.
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves
Comments: 18
Kudos: 83





	May The Light Inside You (Burn Everything You Touch)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EatASnickers03](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EatASnickers03/gifts).



> If this isn't compliant with something that happened in canon I'm sorry, I haven't finished season 2 yet whoops
> 
> A thanks to my LOVELY partner, who cheered me on when I sent them this
> 
> Another to myself for powering out the first draft of this in under an hour. Inspiration really do be like that sometimes
> 
> Anyway I love the Hargreeves children also stan Grace

In hindsight, it was obvious.

It was _so obvious_. He’d never been good at noticing the things he should, but he should have seen _this._

He should have seen it.

But Klaus was high, and getting higher when Ben showed up in his room. He didn’t even _see_ him at first, too busy counting out pills like flower petals. “He loves me, he loves me not,” he whispered to himself, and giggled, popping one in his mouth.

“Klaus.”

“ _Jesus!_ " He dropped them, and they scattered everywhere. “Can’t you _knock?_ ”

Ben blinked.

Oh, right. Ben and Luther had gone on a mission, alone this time. Dad wanted them to get used to working in fewer numbers or something, Klaus wasn’t exactly listening. The point was, there had been a mission, which meant the Horror.

Ben always spaced out after missions now. He didn’t like the Horror, and if what he said was true, the Horror didn’t like him either. Klaus could relate, but at least he had an out. Ben couldn't even take drugs, because then he couldn’t contain the Horror and everything went to shit.

It was a good thing he’d already washed the blood off, otherwise this would be awkward.

“Hey, Benny-boy, c’mere,” Klaus said, gentle as he could manage as he patted the bed next to him. Ben didn’t move.

That was all right, it took a few minutes.

He didn’t stop patting. “Beeeeeen. Benjamin. Bennifer. Supercalifragilisticbennyalidocious. C’mon, dude, my arm is getting tired.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, Ben made his way over to the bed.

“Do you wanna sit down?”

Ben did.

“Okay,” Klaus nodded, making sure to keep his distance. Ben didn’t like contact after releasing the Horror, unless he initiated it. He’d told Klaus that it was because he didn’t want to accidentally release it again and hurt them.

Klaus suspected it went deeper, but that was a conversation for later.

“Hey Ben, did you know that Madonna performed at Coachella? She’s that one artist you liked, that was playing at Griddy’s. I heard someone talking about it. Apparently she—” Klaus kept talking, keeping up a running chatter until Ben felt okay enough to chime in.

He never did.

It was a really bad day, then.

“It’s food time,” he decided. “I’m hungry, and you need to eat.”

Ben followed him downstairs, to where Mom was in the kitchen.

“Hey, Mom, do you think you can make Ben and I sandwiches? He needs to eat after letting the Horror out.”

“Of course, dear,” Mom smiled. “I’m glad you’re looking out for your brother.”

He shot Ben a teasing grin he didn’t notice. “ _Someone_ has to.”

Ben still didn’t say anything as Klaus pulled out two chairs, just sat down and stared at the plate he took from Mom and slid in front of him.

That was okay. This wasn’t his first Super Bad Day, and it wouldn’t be his last.

“Thanks, Mom, you’re the best.”

“Thank you, dear,” Mom said.

He heard a door slam shut, and Dad yelling “GRACE!”

“Your father wants me upstairs. Will you be okay on your own?”

“Yeah, Mom, go ahead.”

She smiled wider and walked out the entryway, leaving the room in silence. Ben kept staring at his plate, and didn’t make a move.

“Ben? You gonna eat?”

A slight shake of his head.

“Okay, then,” Klaus said, through a mouthful of food. “Your loss.”

They didn’t talk again until he finished eating.

Finally, Klaus burped. “What do you want to do?”

Shrug.

“Did you want to read one of your nerd books?”

Shrug.

“Do you want to go find one of our siblings? Luther went on your mission with you today, right? Did you want to go see him?”

 _That_ got a reaction. Ben sat up ramrod straight, and turned to him with wide eyes. “Luther?”

“Yeah, Luther. Is everything okay?”

“Luther.” Ben ignored him, getting out of his chair and marching toward the stairs. “I have to find Luther. Where’s Luther?” He was panicking now, and Klaus felt his own heart rate pick up. “ _LUTHER?_ ”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Klaus soothed, “it’s okay, Luther’ll be fine. Breathe with me a second. In, out, in, out, c’mon, it’ll be fine.” He didn’t show any signs of hearing him, but he did calm down a little.

Klaus guided him over to the wall and sat him down. “Okay, did something happen to Luther?”

Ben’s eyes were wide. “Y-yes? No? I don’t—I think so?”

“Okay, let's leave the stuttering problem to Diego,” Klaus tried to joke, but it fell flat. _What happened to their brother?_ “Okay, where are you?”

“The…the Academy.”

“Good job! Okay, what happened during the mission?”

“I don’t—I can’t— _Luther!_ ”

“Luther is okay,” Klaus lied. “He’s fine. What happened?”

“ _I don’t remember!_ ”

Shit. That wasn’t uncommon either, especially on days like this, but Klaus was hoping he’d at least have some recollection, if only so he had some indication that Luther was all right. “That’s okay, just focus on my voice. Do you remember that time—” he let the words flow again, until Ben relaxed.

“Oh, good, you’re back! Did you want to go ask Mom where Luther is?”

“...yes.”

“Okay, then we’ll do that. Come on.” He started walking down the hall, heading for the infirmary. If Luther was hurt, that was probably where Mom was. Especially since dear old Dad had sounded so panicked earlier. Ben followed him, still not making contact.

He passed Vanya in the hall. “Hey, Vanny, do you know where Mom is?”

“Infirmary. I think either Ben or Luther got hurt,” she frowned. “It looked bad.”

“I thought so.” He shot Ben a comforting smile, and kept walking until they reached the infirmary doors. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Looks are deceiving after all,” he said as he raised his hand to knock.

“Number Four, what are you doing?” Dad stood just a few feet away, cane in hand and...was that _blood_ on his clothes?

“Looking for Mom,” he said, staring at the dark blotch on his suit. _Fuck_. “Is Luther okay?”

“Number One will be awake any minute now, and fully operational within the next seventy-three hours.”

He sagged in relief, smiling at Ben. “See? I told you so.”

Ben didn’t smile back, and Dad narrowed his eyes. “Number Four, are you currently inebriated?”

Klaus grinned as wide as he could, waving his _goodbye_ hand in the air. “Oh, super high, Daddy dearest! Couldn’t see a single ghostie!”

Reginald’s expression didn’t change. “I see,” he said, and marched down into his office without the usual bitching about calling him “dad,” probably to write some shit in that fucking notebook. Klaus paid him no mind.

“See, Ben, I said he’d be fine!” Ben still didn’t move, just stared at the closed door of the infirmary. “Ben? Did you want to see him?”

Ben nodded, but didn’t move when Klaus pushed open the door. “Well? Come on.”

He followed in, and then everything froze. Mom and Pogo were working on Luther, and _holy shit. That’s so much blood_. How was Luther even _alive?_

“Mom?”

“She’s w-w- _working_ ,” someone snapped from behind him, and Klaus jumped. Diego was wearing his familiar scowl when he turned around, but his eyes were bloodshot, with tear tracks on his cheeks. _Double shit_. “L-l-leave her al-l-lone.”

“But we wanted to see how Luther was doing.”

“We?”

“Yeah, me and…” Klaus looked for Ben, trailing off when he saw that he was next to the second bed, a red stained sheet laid over the body there. “Shit, who’s that?” Dad never let outsiders into the Academy, especially not to be treated. And apparently whoever it was didn’t even make it.

Ben stared at the bed, expression unreadable and eyes still unfocused, looking for all the world like a character in a storybook, suspended in time. Klaus’s chest tightened at the sight, and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

Ben stared at the bed, and reached his hand out.

Ben reached his hand out.

Ben’s hand went _through_ the sheet.

Klaus felt his lungs give out.

“Ben?”

“K-Klaus?” Diego’s voice sounded underwater, like it did when Dad made him train holding his breath. Nothing was real except Ben. Ben, who was standing _right_ _there, he was right there, he had been there for an hour at the least._

“No.” That…that wasn’t supposed to happen. Klaus was high, so it shouldn’t— _couldn_ ’t be Ben, because that would mean Ben was be dead and a ghost and so by all logic _Klaus should not be able to see him._

Ben looked back at him, and too many puzzle pieces fit together to form a picture Klaus _did not like one bit._

“No!” There were hands on him, grabbing his arms and keeping him from going to the bed, keeping him away from the bloodstained sheet, keeping him from _Ben_. _“No, no, no, no, no!”_

“K-K-Klaus, st-t-t—”

“Klaus, dear, I need you to focus on me, okay? Focus on my voice. Can you do that? You need to breathe—”

_“NO! Get off of me, let go, get away from me, please just LET GO—”_

“Number Four, cease this racket at once!” Klaus could barely make out his father through his tears, Vanya and Allison just tiny blobs peaking behind him.

“It’s not him, Dad, it’s not him, _I just saw him,_ it can’t be him, _IT’S NOT HIM—_ ” He knew he looked pathetic, tears streaming down his cheeks, but he didn't care, he didn't _care, he didn't—_

“Number Six became deceased at approximately 2:18 this afternoon.” His father's voice held no remorse, no sorrow, no _anything_. He was more of a machine than Mom had ever been, the bastard. The _lying bastard,_ who _dared_ pretend that Ben was dead and gone, probably for one of his _sick_ experiments.

Behind Reginald his sisters gasped, and Allison started crying, but it didn’t matter, because he had already wrenched himself out of Diego’s grip and ran over to the bed. It wasn’t Ben, and he could _prove_ _it_ if they stopped trying to _stop_ _him_. He gripped the sheet so hard his knuckles turned white—

“Number Four—”

—and ripped it off the body.

It fluttered to the floor, a wave of fabric, a sense of finality lost to time.

Klaus could only stare.

 _It’s not him,_ he thought, but it was, it _was_. Bloodstained and torn apart and _oh, it looks so painful, Ben must have hated it—_

The room was silent, as if the whole world was holding its breath. Klaus slowly looked up.

Ben was staring at his own body, shocked. He lifted his head, meeting his eyes for the first time that day. They were clear, and desperate, and _dead_.

“Ben?”

Allison wailed, and in the background he could hear Diego and Vanya crying too. Mom was trying to comfort them, and Pogo stood over by Luther, still working but shoulders sagged with defeat. He could hear their dad’s footsteps, leading away until the door to his study slammed shut.

None of it mattered.

The only things in the world were Klaus, and Ben, and the mangled body between them.

Klaus’s knees gave out, sending him to the floor, but all he could feel were the tears running down his face, warm as blood. Like the blood that covered Luther but wasn’t his, the blood that was so bright against Dad’s white undershirt, the blood from—

Ben’s eyes traveled back down. “ _Oh_ ,” he said softly, and disappeared.

Eventually Mom walked over to cover the body again.

Somewhere, in some distant place, Luther groaned.

Klaus kept crying.

Ben didn’t reappear until a week after Klaus ran away.

**Author's Note:**

> *tearfully fingerguns*


End file.
